In a busy week of Premier League motion, it was good for them to throw in a fixture involving a few Sunday League groups.
Stamford FC versus Trafford Rovers final night time was large enjoyable, an excellent cocktail of zero ways, gamers who should clearly have been hungover from the night time earlier than (it was most likely one of many lads’ stag social gathering they usually ended up ingesting Jaegerbombs from a KFC cup they stole off a homeless man), and two coaches whose soccer philosophy has each of them trying within the dictionary for the that means of the phrase ‘philosophy’.
In seriousness, what an gratifying shambles it was. Chelsea went 2-0 up, United obtained it again to 2-2, then went 3-2 forward within the second half, however conceded twice within the 8+ minutes of damage time to lose 4-3. I imply, even when it had been 3-3, it’d have been a fantastic chuckle, however what United did after conceding a late penalty was simply subsequent stage. A dedication to on-field comedy that hasn’t been seen for the reason that halcyon days of Mustafi and David Luiz doing their greatest to 1 up one another as a central defensive partnership.
David Luiz: “Watch me come on as a sub, give 4 penalties away and get despatched off!”
Mustafi: *Falls Over* – thus setting in movement a butterfly-effect scenario that in some way destroys an orphanage in Cyprus. On Christmas Eve. Whereas Santa is within the chimney.
Relatively than simply take the blow of the late purpose, they piled ahead from kick-off, misplaced the ball, and ended up in a scenario the place Chelsea had a 6 on 4 benefit – one they need to have scored from. Ultimately, they obtained a nook, and in the event you thought what occurred earlier than was humorous, this was rolling within the aisles stuff. Cole Palmer realises that United don’t have any type of defensive form at their set-pieces, they simply get a load of males within the field and hope that Harry Maguire can loaf the ball away along with his large head.
A few the United gamers clearly have residual mind cells someplace and begin pointing at Palmer. Simply pointing. Not reacting. Pointing. As if they’re wand-less magicians making an attempt to do a spell to make him cease. Which in fact he doesn’t. He takes the go, takes a contact and shot, and regardless of some efforts to shut him down the ball rockets into the again of the web by way of a deflection for 4-3 Chelsea.
It was genuinely extraordinary stuff. Afterwards, Erik ten Hag mentioned, “Sure, it was not so good from us, but when Hojlund will get a penalty towards Arsenal in September, it’s a unique scenario.”
What’s so humorous about that is the truth that this season, United are permitting a mean of 17.53 pictures on purpose … per sport! Solely Sheffield United within the ‘high 5’ leagues in Europe permit extra, and that’s comprehensible due to their stature, their newly promoted standing, and the actual fact they’re managed by a person who has a elementary objection to sandwiches.
Man Utd have confronted 17.53 pictures per sport within the Premier League this season, Sheffield Utd are the one group in Europe’s huge 5 divisions that face extra on common.
Sheffield Utd have conceded 80 objectives and are backside of the league with 15 factors from 30 video games. 😳 pic.twitter.com/Hx4sn5VSyz
— Squawka (@Squawka) April 4, 2024
Of their final six video games, which embody fixtures towards backside half sides Luton, Everton and Brentford, they’ve allowed 148 pictures on purpose. It’s outstanding, and will I simply say I believe ten Hag is doing a implausible job there and all true soccer followers ought to get behind him to proceed his work for so long as potential.
I do know there’s a draw back to what occurred final night time, however because the previous saying goes, “Don’t cry as a result of Chelsea are joyful, cry tears of laughter as a result of Man Utd are unhappy.”
It’ll be attention-grabbing to see if Mikel Arteta is requested concerning the week’s motion in his press convention at present. You’ll be able to think about him sitting at residence having fun with that final night time on a comedic stage, but additionally shuddering with distaste at what he’s seeing from so-called skilled footballers. We’ll convey you all of the information from his pre-Brighton presser over on Arseblog Information.
If you wish to get pleasure from a bit extra Premier League evaluation, in a lot the identical fashion as you may have in at present’s weblog however in audio trend, be a part of myself and Phil over on Patreon in a while as we glance again in any respect the video games in a brand new episode of The 30. We’ll even have a Brighton preview podcast for you this afternoon, so loads to get your ears round at present.
Now, in the event you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try to make a sausage sandwich ten Hag fashion by simply pointing at some bread and hoping for the perfect. There’s a brand new Arsecast beneath for you too. Get pleasure from!
